Grace Over Fear

I recently had a health scare.  Maybe it was more of a health hiccup than a scare.  Either way, it freaked me out a little bit.  And wouldn’t you know it, the timing was just bad.  “This cannot be happening right now.”

So when I found myself in the hospital.  Laying in a bed made for someone six inches shorter than me, just waiting on a series of tests to be done.  I was flooded with thoughts.  Memories of the prolonged time spent with my sister and dad…just waiting in a hospital room.  Helpless.

The sounds.  The smells.  Feeling stuck and unsure.  Everything pointing towards anxiety, worry and fear.  

I was deeply worried.  Focusing on the uncertainty.  Questioning the “what next?”   

In desperate need of His grace, I prayed this.  

I am tired.  I am worn out.  I seem to be carrying worry and stress that have no place here.  Jesus, I lay these weights down.  I choose to trust you today.  I am in pursuit of the unforced rhythms of grace.  Teach me to live freely and lightly.  To keep company with you Jesus and take real rest.  Spell out your ways God.  Grant me clarity and understanding.  

And there was grace.

Every morning I prayed.  Every night I prayed.  And throughout the day, I prayed.  When worry began to creep in, I prayed.  Sometimes I didn’t feel like it, but I prayed.  A few times I just wanted to cry and give up, but I prayed.  

And there was grace.

The battle didn’t go away.  The fight didn’t disappear.  What happened, and continues to happen, is my focus changed.  I stopped looking at the fight and began to gaze upon the One fighting for me.  

And there was grace.

The Red Sea was not removed, but a way was made through. (Exodus 14)  Peter and John did not pray for the challenge to go away, but strength to continue.  (Acts 4:23-26)  Our situations don’t often change in an instant, but our perspective can! 

And there is grace.

Focus today on the One fighting for you and not the battle you see.  Walk in God’s plan and not your own.

Allow the unforced rhythms of grace to flood your soul.

Fear moves to faith.  Hope moves to love.  Love is covered in grace.